Love, Respect and Godly Submission {To The Men}

Friday, July 24, 2015

It’s not very often I write a blog post specifically for men. It’s kinda strange but I’m actually super excited {and a little nervous} to share Gods marriage design with you as well!

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33

Three times in this passage of Scripture God commands you as a husband to do something specific: love your wife.

While your wife is instructed to submit, you are instructed to love your wife. Not just kinda sorta love her, but love your wife as Christ loved the church. Paul does not tell you in this passage to rule over your wife. You are never told, “make sure your wife knows you’re in authority over her or show her who’s in charge.” Instead God tells you three times to love your wife.

Love her.

God’s command to love your wife involves more than just acting in love when you feel emotionally or physically close to your wife. God doesn't tell you to love your wife just when she is being affectionate and loving to you. He doesn't say to love your wife only when you feel she is deserving of it. And it doesn't say to withhold love when she's sassy {thank goodness}. God commands: cherish your wife. Have affection for your wife. Love her.

Guys, let your wife know how much she means to you. Tell her. Tell her over and over again. Write her a note to tell her and hide it in a place she'll find it. Believe me, she'll appreciate that more than you know. And she'll more than likely shed a few tears. Give her a big hug and kiss when you walk in the door after work. Just hold her in your arms. From a woman's perspective, this little act of kindness can wash away the negative things that happened during the day and change the tone of the evening. And I betcha this would also be a good step towards getting that smokin' hot marriage we all want!

How did Jesus ultimately show His love the church? He died to establish it. Wow... I know, right. Are you willing to do that? You are also to love your wife more than you love yourself. In reality, Christ is asking you to put your wife's needs before your own. What makes that difficult is our own selfish hearts. It doesn't help that you have the world in your ear, telling you that you are entitled to put your own needs first. And if you don't...well then you’re either a sissy, hen-pecked or really foolish.

Submission can't be forced, ever. Trying to control others (including your wife) is prideful, selfish and sinful. It doesn't honor God or others. And it certainly won't make for a very happy marriage. Being controlling isn't loving at all. If your wife isn't submitting, ask yourself "am I loving my wife as Christ loved the church?” If the answer is no, then I’d say that is something you need to work on. Work on your part and don't worry about her part. Once your heart is in the right place, then the two of you can work on submission together.

A truly Christian marriage will mirror the relationship between Christ and his church. This mirroring will involve both the husband loving his wife as Christ loves the church, and the wife gladly submitting to her husband. The two elements, love and submission, are non-negotiable within the relationship. Both elements, love and submission are required for our marriages to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church.

So this week...guys, love on your wife. Hug her, kiss her, hold her, listen to her and just spend genuine quality time loving her.

The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God {Book Review}

Monday, July 20, 2015

The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God
What Honesty and Pain Taught Us About Faith, Family, and Forgiveness
By Jep and Jessica Robertson, with Susy Flory

About the book:
A Moving Story of Redemption and Second Chances 
Jep Robertson, the youngest son of Duck Commander Phil Robertson, and his wife, Jessica, open up about their personal trials, their early years together, and the challenges that might have destroyed them both had the grace of God not intervened. Jep describes being molested as a child and his reluctance to tell anyone until only a few years ago, his downward spiral into drug and alcohol abuse, and the eventual intervention of his family. Jessica shares about the difficult failure of her first marriage while still a teenager and the hurt that came along with it, much of it from the church. Her insecurities spun out of control as she wondered whether she would ever be good enough or pretty enough. This book is their love story but, more importantly, their love story for God. 
“We are desperate to let people know that no matter what you’ve done; no matter what you’ve lived through, you can come out of it. You can be washed clean. You are redeemed."
In this household, we love Duck Dynasty. They love God, guns, country, truth and they are silly. Sounds pretty similar to our fam. Not to mention their beards, which my husband also sports. There aren't that many shows that promote faith and prayer and when we find one that does, we become faithful viewers.

I took this book on vacation with us, and dove into it straight away. I was excited to learn more about this family who’d already endeared themselves to me through their television series and their display of faith. I wasn’t disappointed. The one unique, refreshing, and comforting quality that recurred throughout the book was the raw honesty and transparency. Jep and Jessica are very candid, holding nothing back, while they share. Written in first person, alternating chapters, I love how this book flows. It’s like sitting in on a conversation. The chapters are also short which is how I prefer it, it holds my attention that way.

This is a true story of overcoming addiction, struggles and obstacles. It's a story of redemption, forgiveness and grace. Jess and Jep teach us about God’s love and His ability to save us, even from ourselves. I have to admit, I shed more than a few tears throughout this book. They share their imperfections and struggles and show that they’re truly ordinary people with an extraordinary story of God’s forgiveness.

This book was provided to me free of charge by Book Look in return for my honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Jep first met Jessica in 2001 and they were married within two weeks of announcing their engagement. Jules Jeptha “Jep” Robertson is the youngest son of Phil and Kay Robertson from A + E’s hit series Duck Dynasty. Jessica grew up hunting with her father on the weekends in the woods of Louisiana and previously worked as a licensed real estate agent. Jep and Jessica are proud parents of 4 children: Lily, Merritt, Priscilla, and River.

Calling All Prayer Warriors

Sunday, July 19, 2015

I'm asking today that you join me in prayer for a young man who needs a miracle. I know his family would love your prayers for a miraculous turnaround in events.

Dylan is fighting a battle with the heart of a warrior. He was diagnosed with leukemia almost two years ago. He was in remission for about 18 months after his first round of treatment, but relapsed this past February. He was given T-cells, and we are praying they start doing their job and kill the leukemia!

This past Thursday he was moved to ICU.  He was starting to have side effects that couldn't be handled on the oncology floor. He's been having fevers and other symptoms and they wanted him monitored more closely. Yesterday morning they decided to put him on a ventilator as he was having labored breathing.  They also have him sedated so he doesn't pull his lines out. Another reason they wanted him on a ventilator was if the T-cells start working, it can get out of hand and quickly.  So this is the safest for him now.

Little did leukemia know, it picked on the wrong warrior. Lets storm the gates of heaven together today and lift Dylan and his family up in prayer.  Please pass this request on to other warriors, so we can all lift Dylan up together.  Thank you!

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise You for Your glorious works and we are amazed with Your continued blessings in our lives. We ask you today, Lord, to please send healing to Dylan who is undergoing treatment for Leukemia. His battle has been strong, Lord. We pray that this is just a minor setback and that the T-cells start killing the Leukemia. Lord, please reassure him that You are with him on this difficult journey, that he has You to lean on. I pray that You wrap Your loving arms around Dylan and his family, and comfort them as only You can. I ask that You send Your healing mercy to him and restore his blood to normal, healthy blood. We thank you Lord for all the strength You have already given him and his family during this difficult illness. We praise you Lord for all your wondrous works. Amen.

He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge.  Psalm 91:4

Eternally Thankful

Sunday, July 19, 2015

This is the eighth anniversary of the best and worst day of my life. This is the day I stood in my living room with tears streaming down my face and begged my husband not to leave. This is also the day that made me step back and take a good, long look at myself in the mirror and realize my own faults. And this is the day that I decided to make a change for me, for us, for our family and most importantly for God.

Not everyone understands why I remember this day or why I "celebrate" it. I think it's super important to remember our past, it brought us to where we are today. The word “remember” is used 167 times in the Bible. I’m fairly sure God is reminding us of the importance of remembering. I never, ever want to forget what brought us to that point on that day. I want to remember what my actions were before and what I changed afterwards. I can remember so vividly sitting in the middle of my floor, sobbing, and looking at the calendar and thinking "this is a date I will never forget". And I haven't. Remembering is part of our design by creation.

One evening, not long after he left, I drove my car back a dirt road. I followed the road to the top and pulled in to the perfect spot, nestled among trees and open fields. It was a gorgeous, clear night and the sky was filled with stars. I sat there that evening and cried for hours while talking to God like He was sitting in my car with me. That evening the seed of forgiveness was planted in my heart.

I realized my relationship with Jesus had taken a backseat to life, along with my marriage. Actually, Jesus wasn't even in the backseat, He was in the trunk. I did not have time for Jesus to trip me up when I was busy living the ways of the world. I realized I couldn't change my husband. There was only one person I could change: me. Jesus said, "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:5). Once I realized that, asked for forgiveness and started to nurture my relationship with Jesus THAT'S when things started to change, when I started to change.

There was never a doubt that I wanted to stand for my marriage, regardless of what the world told me to do. God showed me divorce extracted a high price. One I simply wasn't willing to pay. There were people telling me to get a divorce and move on with my life, that I deserved better, but all I wanted to do was what God wanted me to do and that is it. I knew that standing was what God wanted me to do and I never let the thought of divorce even enter my mind.

Some may support your stand for your marriage and your fight against the enemy, while some may totally disagree, but all that matters is that you do what God wants you to do. Those that disagree with you might make their voice heard daily, or they might even walk out of your life because of it. You need to remember, one day we will all have to face judgment and have to be responsible for the things we did. All those people who had opinions about your situation will not be with you when you have to answer to God. You have to do what you know is right.

I prayed, trusted God and knew His will would be done. I basically handed my marriage to Him and waited for things to be done in His timing, not mine. I was waiting for His intervention. Through that, God taught me patience and perseverance. Three months later, he returned home!

I am so thankful that our love story didn't end there, that it did indeed have more chapters to it. The reward of restoration was well worth the wait. And I am eternally thankful that our love was rescued by God ♥ I adore the beautiful God-scripted love story I have.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

Love, Respect and Godly Submission {Hushing the World}

Friday, July 17, 2015

When you mention the "s word" to the world, they are quick to voice their opinion. Why are you so stupid? The world will tell you that you are equal to men, not beneath them. Women like you make us look weak. You should be expressing your opinion, not silencing it. You should be calling the shots, not letting him lead. Your marriage should be 50/50, that's only fair. Don’t be a doormat.

But ultimately, what matters is your following Gods word. Not the world's opinion.

So, let's travel back to the beginning of the Bible and read a few key verses that directly tie in to submission.

I think we all agree that God created Adam first. Then God made a decision, that we see revealed in Genesis 2:18

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

As you can clearly see, it doesn't say I’m going to make man someone to rule over him, someone to sass at him or someone to disrespect his every decision. It says "make him a help meet". So, what exactly is a help meet? It carries the meaning of aid, succor, one who helps. Hebrew scholar Robert Alter has spent years translating the book of Genesis. He translates it “sustainer beside him”. When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately. Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.

Boy, that sure sounds different than what the world would define "help meet" as, doesn't it?

God created woman from man’s rib, brought her to the man and they became husband and wife. In Genesis 2:17, before Eve existed, God has given Adam some instruction.

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
Genesis 2:17

And what do we see Eve do next?

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
Genesis 3:6

Oh, Eve. Why? Then she gave it to Adam, and he took a bite too. Yikes. So we see clearly that Eve took the first bite then gave it to Adam. So she sinned first, right? But in Romans 5:12 we see that "sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin". But, how did sin first enter the world through one man, when the woman was the first to sin?

What we see is the first picture of headship. Adam was who God gave the instruction to. Adam was responsible for his and Eve's sin. I’m going to tell y'all, if i was Adam I would have been a little irked at Eve.

So did Eve get off scott free? Aahhhhhh, not so much. When we look at Genesis 3:16 we see God deal directly with the woman's sin.

I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.
Genesis 3:16

So you know all that pain during labor? Yep, thank-you-very-much-Eve.

The second part of the verse basically means you will want to rule over your husband but you won't be able to. Why? Because God's design for man was to be the head of the household.

And that, sweet ladies, is where marital strife was born.

We read it, roll our eyes, and say "oh no you didn't, not this woman, this girl is not about to submit". And we go on about our marriage. Having bouts of contention here and there. Years go by, the contention gets worse, and now we are irritated. Why can't this marriage thing just be easy? Basically because there is a battle for leadership happening. Remember that sassy girl that said "oh no way" and had to honor and obey removed from her vows? Well she obviously wants HER opinion to he heard and HER ways followed. I mean, isn't she entitled to that?

And I’m fairly sure most men don't want their wives to rule over them ladies. Just sayin'.

And here is when we come right back to Ephesians 5. That is the only way to end this battle. Let’s look at all the verses.

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:21-33

And when you live an Ephesians life, your marriage will look different to the world. That sure doesn't mean it's wrong. I think there is a pivotal point when we need to decide who we want our marriage to glorify, the world or God.

The key is that when you are in an intimate relationship with Christ - when you have fully surrendered yourself to Him and desire Him and find your life in Him alone - then obedience to God's commands is a joy and delight. And yes, even submission can be a joy. When you are convicted to obey Him, His words will bring joy, peace, contentment, fulfillment and freedom for you! And in turn, your life will bring glory to God. Isn’t that what it's all about?

So this week, sit down with your husband and read over Ephesians. Talk about your marriage, your roles and who your marriage is glorifying. And go on a date, just because I love reconnecting with my love! Don’t forget to stop back next Friday as we take a look at the husband’s role in submission. Remember, keep your eyes on Him!

Saving Your First Kiss

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

"Actually", she said with confidence, "I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day". I've heard my daughter say this dozens of times. And while it's been met with positiveness, that doesn't happen often. Normally, she'll be met with laughter accompanied by a statement like "what? that's crazy", "you'll change your mind once you start dating" and she's even heard "you'll never get a man that way".

I'm just going to be honest here, I didn't save my first kiss for my wedding day. As I've said before, I wish I had heard that not kissing until marriage was an option. I wish I had heard that purity was beautiful. Valuable. Precious. An amazing gift given to us by God to give to our spouse. I wish purity had been a bigger topic among my circle. I wish I had been told that God's grace is bigger than the choices we make. I wish we had been talked to instead of talked at.

I took the things I wished were different and the lessons I had learned and coupled that with God's Word.  There was also an amazing all-girl program at church called Daughters of the King, led by our Pastor's wife.  And during that time, God set it in my daughters heart to save her first kiss for her future husband on the day of their wedding.

In a day and age where kissing is the norm for elementary schoolers and losing your virginity in, or by high school is expected, it seems absurd and ridiculous that anyone would possibly save their first kiss for marriage.  If you choose safe standards, you are bound to hear backlash and criticism from friends and relatives, but you have to remember that your decision is a “good thing".

We want our kids to enjoy healthy relationships placed in the hands of God.  Relationships that focus on drawing closer together emotionally and spiritually before they enjoy the physical part of their relationship that is reserved only for marriage.

While saving your first kiss for your wedding day is clearly not popular, please don't look down on those who do.  They aren't weak, naive or inexperienced.  Are we really going to fault these kids for following what God has set in their heart?

And those of you who save your kiss, please don’t look down on those who don’t.  Saving your kiss doesn’t gain you salvation. 

I love the story told by Jennie Bishop titled The Princess and the Kiss. The royal parents have a baby girl and give her the gift of her very first kiss. They explain to the princess that it is her gift to keep or give away as she chooses.They then go on to warn her that many man will try to take her gift, but she should be wise and save it for the man she would marry.

Instead of viewing your kiss as something meaningless and cheap, I want to challenge you to view it as a very expensive treasure box. It’s your job to keep your treasure safe until the person with the right key comes to unlock it.

Like the princess above, you will probably have some guys stop by with hopes to get a piece of your treasure. If they don’t have the key (the wedding band) don’t let them open the box.

I want you to remember, you don’t have to kiss frogs to find princes.  Princes don’t need physical confirmation of a woman’s value. They already value you for who you are.

We need to recognize the kiss as an incredible gift that God has given each one of us to fully embrace and enjoy in the right context. Instead of lowering its value and blowing it off as just-a-kiss let’s view it as a precious, sacred gift.

♥ le SIGH ♥

Monday, July 13, 2015

lots of fam time.
flip flops.
book reading.
sleeping in.
tons of pics.
NO work.
not cooking.
i am in love.

20 {More} Budget Friendly Date Ideas

Sunday, July 12, 2015

I love going on dates with my husband, whether they are little mini-dates we catch here and there or a full day together. I love that feeling of just reconnecting with him and being able to give him my full attention without interruption. I think it's so important to take time out of our busy lives to solely focus on each other. It keeps our marriage alive.

Romance doesn't have to be expensive to be great! Here is a list of free or nearly free ideas to make your dating a pure pleasure:
  • Grab your skates and head to the roller-skating rink. What, not everyone has skates like I do? Believe me, my littles remind me every year that my skates are as old as dirt. As long as you don't mind being the oldest people there who aren't chaperoning their children, it's a great way to have fun and let loose with each other.
  • Celebrate the first snow fall with a day of sledding together. At the end of the day, head inside for hot cocoa and a hot shower.
  • Jump in the car and just drive with no destination in mind. Turn the music up, sing together, hold hands and enjoy the ride. Make a love song "mix tape" to enjoy during your drive. This one is one of my favs!
  • Grab your camera and head out. Stop at scenic locations and start taking pictures of each other. Be goofy and creative. Dare each other to put those wacky pictures on Facebook! The loser has to give a massage!
  • Grab a tent, sleeping bag and head into the woods for a night of camping. Leave all the distractions behind. Spend the evening cuddling together under the stars talking for hours. If you don't have a tent, you can get one for as cheap as $25 at Walmart. Sleeping bags can be as cheap as $10. 
  • Dance lessons are fun and romantic. You’re moving, bodies are touching, and you might be working up a little bit of sultry sweat. 
  • Head to an indoor or outdoor ice-skating rink — it's the perfect excuse to hold hands!
  • Go shooting together, something we love to do. I mean, hello, seeing your guy handle a gun is pretty hot. Just remember, safety first! 
  • Stay in one night, turn off the TV, shut down your computer, and ignore your phones. Stay in the moment with each other and share your favorite memories from the past.
  • Pray together, taking turns thanking God for each other.
  • Plan your dream vacation with each other — it might be the incentive you need to start putting your loose change in the piggy bank.
  • Have your children play waiter and waitress and serve a romantic dinner, then tell them the story of how you fell in love.
  • Volunteer together. I think watching my husband serve and seeing his heart is pretty amazing and makes me fall in love with him all over again.
  • Spend the day together in the great outdoors. Go for a hike together, enjoying a day of great conversation while getting exercise at the same time.
  • Go bowling and have fun laughing together! If you're like us, that laughing will come from you accidentally stepping on the slippy lane, falling and splitting your pants. Not my most graceful moment.
  • Make a playlist {aka...mix tape} of your favorite slow songs. Cook your favorite meal together. Light the candles. Have a romantic dinner together! Once dinner is over, leave the dishes until the next day! Spend the rest of the evening slow dancing together!
  • Search out some local music! 
  • Go House Shopping. Even if you aren’t in the market for a new house, just go browse anyway. There is just something fun about the home-browsing process.
  • Go for a moonlight walk. There is something very romantic about walking around at night, especially under the moonlight. Tell your spouse all the things you love about them and walk slowly.
  • Fill the bed of the truck up with pillows + blankets, head out in a field and hop in the back to count your lucky stars. Don't forget to take some yummy nibbles along. Have you ever saw a shooting star? It’s super romantic and you’ll be entertained for hours trying to recognize the stars and looking for them.

The Day is Finally Here

Saturday, July 11, 2015

We are leaving for our vaca!  I cannot wait to spend an entire week with my loves.  I have big plans of laying on the beach daily, shark free please.  I can't wait to do my morning devotions while sitting by the ocean watching the sun rise.  And walking the boardwalk every evening, while enjoying super yummy food.  I'm not taking my laptop along, so no pics this year until we get back.  I made the executive decision that this is a fam vacation to spend time together, technology free.  Although I'm sure there will be an Instagram pic here or there!
PS...what I won't be doing this vaca is riding those willy nilly bikes on the boardwalk in the early morning.  They are super sketchy.  And I had a bad experience with those when I was little.  I may or may not have knocked down a little Chinese man.  And peddled away quickly while he yelled at me in a different language.  No desire to go through that again.  Nope. None.

Love, Respect and Godly Submission {Respect}

Friday, July 10, 2015

We’ve all heard the saying "men are from mars, women are from venus". We all know that's not true, obviously. But what is true is God created men and women equally but differently, very differently. We have different designs, different roles and different responsibilities.

God created men with a need to have respect from their wife. Women were created with a desire to receive love from their husband. So many times during an argument a wife will react without respect which will make the husband react without love. That creates an ugly, vicious cycle.

Men need to know that they are adequate, that they are enough and that they are worthy of our respect. How often do we truly show our husbands the respect they desire?

So, I know this girl who has a hot, quick temper and a big, fat mouth and she can cut to the bone with words. She grew up speaking her mind, using harsh words to get her point across. It didn't mean there was a lack of love for that person, it simply meant she had a point to make. Fast-forward to current day. We now live in an age where it's common and popular to portray men as idiots, fools and overgrown adolescents. Think of how many sitcoms feature an "inadequate husband and wife who knows everything". And I absolutely admit, I have given in to the "how in the world would men ever survive without us" dynamic. Biblically, I would probably be stoned for my insolence. My husband is a pretty easygoing person, which made it easy for me to step into the role of dictator and look down my nose at him. I tend to micromanage and control and nag and critique. It’s my nature, but it's not respectful—or loving! And it is something this strong-willed wife is working on, daily.

God’s design for marriage is laid out in Ephesians 5. Remember last week we revealed that our marriage was designed specifically to mirror our relationship between Christ and His church. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like. That should change the way we look at our marriage.

Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 
Ephesians 5:33

I’ve read this verse over and over again. It doesn't say respect your husband only when you feel he deserves it, it doesn't say he has to GIVE respect to GET respect and it's certainly not up to us to deem when he is worthy of it. God was pretty clear with this verse, the wife MUST respect her husband. Period. Unless there is a Biblically moral issue at stake (in which God’s authority will supersede our husband’s).

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

So, I am basically a pro at pointing out my husband’s faults and failures. I can pick up on disrespect lickity-split when it's coming from someone else but can't see when I’m being totally disrespectful to my husband. If it takes you a while to catch on like me, sometimes it makes it a little easier when you can read a list. So I spoke to various Christian husbands and asked them what they saw as disrespectful. I’ve composed a little list of their answers.
  • nagging
  • speaking badly of him in front of others and belittling him
  • not spending time with him
  • always complaining, no matter what he does
  • yelling at him
  • undermining his authority
  • not giving him the attention he craves
  • withholding sex and using it to manipulate a situation
  • cutting him off mid-sentence
  • shifting blame to him
  • being demanding
  • body language - sighing, frowning while you talk and eye rolling
  • criticizing him
  • putting yourself first rather than him and your family
  • not having confidence in his decision making
  • showing other men attention rather than him
Every man has his own definition of disrespect and what actions show him that. There are some things that basically every man would find disrespectful and some things that are just specific to your husband. What matters the absolute most is what your husband finds disrespectful. Ask your husband what actions these are and make a mental note of them, or write them down in your journal. Ask him what actions really speak respect to him also. You’ll know which actions to phase out and which ones to increase. Pay attention to all his answers.

As wives, we have so much power to destroy our husbands or to build them up. We need to learn to be respectful wives who value our husbands’ leadership. We need to honor Christ with every word and action! I would bet if we showed them more respect they would show us more love. When a wife respects her husband it deepens her love for him. So really, it's a win win situation for everyone :) Lots of respect and lots of love, sounds pretty amazing to me. Godly submission and respect not only adorns the gospel; it makes us beautiful as well.

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