OH MY GOSH!!!!!!

Ok, if there is ONE thing I hate it is..........spiders! Can't stand them in the least. And let me first say I was "going" to search for a pic of a spider to put on here. I googled it, NOPE, not happening. Just the pics of them CREEPS me out! Right now it is 2:31 am...why am I up you ask? WELL, an hour ago there was a big BASTARD of a spider in my hallway. Yep, woke Joe up to kill it. Was he happy? Heck no! Do I care? Oh heck no!! I do NOT do spiders. And what WHAT is with my house being wildlife America lately? Why can't they just stay outside? Not just the spiders but ALL the wildlife that seems to want to nest in my house. Is it really necessary for a possum to live in my cellar? Yes, a possum! Of course once we caught it in a box trap Jade wanted to keep it and name it Sally. Uh how 'bout NO! I mean I would except it would chew our eyes out. Let me also add how much I enjoy the strippens/logging around here that CHASES these critters into my house. I never hear our neighbors complain of critters, why do they come to my house? Really, they can visit someone else. I mean, come on, there are like 15 other houses in this town. In the last 10 years of living here we have had mice (which I normally dont mind as long as they stay in the basement, if they venture upstairs they are going to die), rats (yes, mother effing rats, thank you Mr. Stripper man for running your dozer of love and driving them to my house), a possum (LOVE Sally) and TONS TONS TONS of bastard spiders. And why do they have to grow so big in my house? I can *almost* live with the tiny little ones you almost can't see. NO, I have to get the big mothers that are like the size of mice. A few weeks ago before getting into bed there was one sitting on my covers. Just sitting there. I know he was waiting for me to crawl into bed so he could bite me and lay eggs in my skin. Nope, didn't sleep in bed that night. Still kinda skeptical of sleeping in there. Tonight walking through the hall downstairs, there he is, Mr big bastard. Sitting so pretty and I could hear him calling "I'd like to die, please kill me". Now how could I turn that request down? Mmmmmmm, so here I am FREAKED OUT, 2:39 now, tired, mad, scared, itchy............hate it.