guard your heart

three years ago today my marriage fell apart and crumbled right before my eyes
we were living two seperate lives, basically strangers simply co-existing in the same household.
we had endured affairs, hurt, heartache and pain but yet it wasn't enough to wake us up.
we continued to take turns being the villen, shifting blame from one to the other.
and we didn't guard our hearts, ever.
when would enough be enough?

my husband left me and our children
in that moment that i knew for sure there was no turning back, he was truly going to leave us.
and i forgave him...before he was even truly gone.
i told him our door would never be closed.
i always, no matter what, gave him the option of coming back home.

i was broken
i'm not going to lie, it took me a few days to pull myself together.
those days were filled with struggling and grasping for anything that would help keep me afloat.
i struggled daily to put a smile on my face for my children and friends.
i told them all i was doing fine when really i felt as though i was dying inside.

then it hit me
i knew exactly what i was suppose to do...what i HAD to do.
and i prayed.
i prayed every second i got.
i prayed with my children.
i would talk to God while i was driving my car like he was sitting in the passenger seat.
it was then that i finally had hope.

God began to rebuild and restore our marriage
it was a slow process that taught me patience and perseverance.
it taught me just how important it is to guard your heart and your marriage.
it taught me to look at myself and my own faults and how to work on them.
it taught me that a marriage has to involve 3...yourself, your spouse and God.
it taught me to believe in miracles.
and three months after my husband left he returned home.

he returned and i fell in crazy head over heels love with this man
it's a deep-rooted, strong love.
and it's better than it's ever been.
i guard my heart and my marriage daily.
i would stand for my marriage and what is right again...in a heartbeat.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

out for now
~kisses

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