not gonna lie...

i'm totally not going to lie, i am struggling hard.  i've always kept it real here so no sense in stopping that now.  i am entering year 3 of my diet/exercise/healthy living and so far it's been the hardest month yet

the weight just seems to be coming off so slow now, which is so frustrating.  i've increased my exercise like crazy (1 hour of cardio in the morning and normally another hour in the evening), this is more exercise than i've EVER done yet i am still losing the same amount as i was before it.  i at least expected to lose it a bit faster. 

i see people around me getting gastric bypass, some that are the same size i was before i started my journey, and it seems you just blink your eyes and they are skinny skinny.  and then here i am, still struggling 3 years later.  that has really been on my mind a lot lately and i know it shouldn't be.  and for those of you that have had gastric bypass or are going to, this is nothing against you...this is about my own battle inside myself.

i KNOW i need to overcome this in order to succeed i'm just not real sure how to do that yet.  i still feel like the "fat girl" some days.  i still see her sometimes when i look in the mirror.  i'm just not sure yet how to get rid of her. 

the picture above is something i'm going to try like crazy to remind myself every day.  embrace my beauty.  and have the courage to tell that fat girl to get to steppin'

out for now
~kisses

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