friendship in marriage is truly a beautiful thing to share together. we all have that song in our hearts. the longing to be "best friends". the melody takes us back to our best friends, the boys and girls we hung out with when we were little - innocent times, free times, fun times. these were when we shared our secrets and our dreams with our bestie. the Lord puts that song in our hearts when we're married, the desire to be best friends with our spouse. it's up to us to read the lyrics God wrote for friendship and learn how to apply it in our marriage.
building friendship in marriage takes a lot of work and time. we have to realize that straight away and commit to it. if it's something you truly want, the hard work and commitment won't feel like a big deal at all. i think one important thing is choosing to spend time together rather than apart. whether it's taking a quick trip for ice cream or sitting beside him watching football, time together is precious.
find out what makes your spouses heart happy, what makes them smile and what their interests are and explore them together. it might be football, gardening, photography, art or hunting. this is one that takes sacrifice. when i was first married there wasn't anything i hated more than sports on tv. it didn't interest me a single bit. but, i have a husband who loves football (the green bay packers to be specific) and a son who plays football and soccer sooooo there are lots of sports-ish things going on here. and ya know what, i love sitting beside my husband in the bleachers on a friday night watching my son play football.
marriage begins like any other friendship, you have things in common that draw you together...once you're married, the stresses of normal everyday life (kids, work, money) can put stress on the marriage and cause you to grow apart. take the time to find out what it is that you still have in common. what common interests do you have? find that out and go do them together. joe and i love truck pulls, watching big brother and random road trips.
be gentle with one another and nourish each other. when joe's parents were sick, he spent a lot of time away from home and with them. it would have been super easy for me to let myself get irritated that he wasn't here. not only would that have been super selfish but it deffo would not have been what God wanted me to do. God wanted me to comfort Joe, hold him and lift him up in prayer. and that was a time in our marriage when we grew closer together.
a weakened friendship can lead a spouse to seek intimacy in other places. if your spouse feels lonely, they might seek that connection from someone else of the opposite sex. don't let your marriage fall into that trap. make a conscious effort to establish and grow your friendship with your spouse. friendship has to be nourished and nurtured regularly.
so this week get honest with your love, talk late into the night like when you were dating, ask him what some of his current goals are or go on a date. joe and i are shooting a wedding saturday (which always feels like a date) and then we are heading out on a REAL mini-date. there are so many ways to cultivate friendship in marriage!
It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up – painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing, and fighting shoulder to shoulder. Friends look in the same direction. ~ C. S. Lewis
out for now