be nice...

as we enter into october, which is anti-bullying month, i have a bit (ok, maybe a lot) to say on this topic...

my daughter is the sweetest child.  she loves God and is proud to be a Christian.  she has a gentle soul and is kind to everyone.  she loves laughing, animals and musicals.  she loves going to football games to watch her brother play, hanging out with friends while we are there and having some concession food.  

friday nights are so rushed that i normally don't cook dinner and we all eat at the field. this past friday she made her usual journey to the concession stand.   i was shocked when she came back to the stands with a look on her face i know all too well.  she was trying her best to hold back the tears.  she handed me her food, told me she wasn't hungry, nestled down in between us and unleashed the flood gates.  it took me quite a while to get out of her what had happened.  

a boy from her class, standing among a large group of friends, told her that food was "really what she needed" which was followed by laughter throughout the crowd.  there were boys from the other football team there who also made some comments and intentionally bumped into her.  as soon as those words left her mouth my mama claws were out.  how DARE that boy belittle my daughter just to make himself look funny or witty.  

and those of you that know me already know that i marched right out of those stands, against my daughters wishes, and talked to this boy. i calmly explained to him who i was and asked him if there was something we needed to discuss with his father, to which he quickly answered no.  

why is it that we are so quick to judge people?  we judge them by what they look like, how much money they have, if they have brand names or not and by their family name.  we judge them before we even give them a chance.  their character, morals and values have nothing to do with their appearance, their clothing or their last name.  they could be the most amazing person in the world but we never gave them a chance.

when you look at people, is fat the first thing you see? do you know the circumstances that surround them being overweight?  you don't see the amazing people they are inside?  the awesome mothers, friends, wives and daughters that they are?  that is absolutely sad to me.  do you realize how many amazing friendships you are missing out on?  didn't your mothers ever teach you "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" or "words cut deeper than knives"? your comments do nothing but convince everyone what a small-minded, self-centered and really not very nice person you are.

and nothing infuriates me more than the comments like "well, they do need to lose weight" or "kids will be kids", like anyone deserves to be treated like that.  that's like saying a woman deserved to be raped because of what she was wearing.  wrong is wrong, and NO ONE deserves to be bullied!

do you know what it's like to have to hold your daughter and console her while she cries because kids at school called her "fat", "hoggish" and "stupid"? to see every single day a little more of her self-esteem chipped away to nothing? to watch your husband, the love of your life, walk into a store and see everyone snickering behind his back and pointing?  to have people makes rude fat jokes directly to him and because he's so good natured, he just laugh's along with them although it hurts his feelings.  it's not funny and it's not cute.  to watch someone eye you from head to toe and then give you a look of disgust? until you know how it feels and you've walked a mile in our shoes...don't you dare pass judgement on us.

i will not apologize for being the person i am.  i am not an ideal size as defined by the world but i am a beautiful woman.  and my daughter is absolutely gorgeous, inside and out. i am an amazing mother who would lay down my life for my kids.  my husband is such an amazing father, husband and friend.  i am a devoted wife and have a love with my husband that can't be broken. i have friendships so sincere that i would go to the ends of the earth for them. and believe me, our self worth is NOT determined by your opinion of us.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.
Matthew 7:12

out for now