my new normal

God has been super busy with this girl as of lately.  He has been writing this new song in my heart, a song that is new to me.  i'm just now learning the lyrics and how to sing it.  some days this song makes me speak words that on any other normal day wouldn't come out of this girls mouth.

this week i found myself having one of those moments...

i was talking to my mama, and i said "just because they treat me badly doesn't mean i have to treat them the same way".  as soon as the words left my lips i was taken aback.   i felt as if everyone in the entire world stopped what they were doing, looked directly at me and replied "what did you just say?".  i sat here, my head reeling, trying to figure out who that was that just said that.  surely it wasn't this grudge holding girl.  sometimes the Lord takes over, and boy am i ever thankful that He does.  so many times i just don't have the strength to do it on my own (which could also be read as me being stubborn).

suddenly that warm sense of the Lord came over me, and I smiled.  i couldn't do this on my own, but i wasn't alone.  with God, our awesome God, all things are possible.   i knew at that exact point my life would never be the same again.  and with that, i had this overwhelming urge to lift up all those who had treated me wrong.  to surround them and encourage them.  crazy, huh?

i have spent years, so many wasted years, allowing anger and bitterness to have a firm grip on me.   i've allowed my emotions to make decisions for me.  i've allowed other peoples actions and words to make decisions for me.   i will no longer let my circumstances dictate my actions.

this sounds so simple, just don't let others actions affect you.  it's one of those things that are easier said than done.  is it complicated?  yes, but not nearly as complicated as Satan is going to try to convince you it is.  you can absolutely live a life minus anger, bitterness and resentment.  remember, with God ALL things are possible.

everything we do and say tells a story of who we serve.  if we impulsively act and speak out of anger, we are giving the enemy exactly what he wants.  i'm sure he chuckles and says "see, i told you that you couldn't do it".   BUT if we honor the Lord with our words and actions, we are spreading His truth and light.  at the end of the day, honoring God leads to good things.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD   ~Psalm 40:3

out for now