my golden calf

i love my morning quiet time with God.  just this girl and her Father hanging out, enjoying some coffee and some much needed time in His word.  it just really starts my day in a great way and points it in the right direction.

i was reading my devotional yesterday and all of a sudden God gave me one of those "aha" moments. you know the ones, they leave you sitting there with your mouth gaping open. those moments that the light bulb clicks in our brain and illuminates what God is doing. yeah, i kinda love those moments huge amounts.

i've made food an idol.

what?  are you as shocked as i was?  i had to take time to process it and talk through it, out loud of course.  let me say it again, i've made food an idol.  wow, isn't that ouchie.  surely that can't be right.  how in the world do you make FOOD an idol?

then i remembered something, a past blog post.  one where i described food as my boyfriend.  here is a little snippet of it:
seriously, we've always had an intense love affair. it's always there for you, never lets you down and always makes you feel good. let's face's always there to fill you with delicious goodness. if i was sad, food would cheer me up...if i was happy, food would celebrate with me...if i was lonely, food would keep me company. 
now, read that last paragraph and replace the word food with God.  and that, my friends, is when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  it was true.  food was my golden calf and i worshiped at it's feet.  instantly my heart was just sad.  can you imagine how much it grieved God when i would run to food to celebrate instead of Him?  or when i would run to food to soothe my sadness instead of Him?  i've been breaking God's heart for years and didn't even know it.

let me touch for a quick second on idolatry.  i'm not an expert in it by any means but i did do a little research on it.  idolatry is trying to get your needs met outside the will of God.  an idol is anything more important to you than God.  anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God and anything you seek to give you what only God can give.  anything in life can become an, sports, alcohol, beauty, money, drugs, video games, careers, facebook and even food.  when we put something else before God in our hearts, we are idolaters.  God HATES idolatry.

You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me
Exodus 20:5

now that i've recognized the idolatry in my heart, i need to confess it, repent and ask God for His help.  i need to choose to be content in Christ alone and not search for happiness or comfort in food.  i am going to obey God and trust Him to lead this journey, to lead my actions and thoughts.  i'm going to run to Him when i'm happy, sad, stressed, bored and every other emotion you can think of.   

 Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts
1 John 5:21

out for now

{on a side note, if you ever see me talking to myself and think i'm losing my mind.  no worries, it's just me doing my normal "God talk".  i just talk to God like He's sitting right beside me.  yep, i talk right out loud and just use normal, everyday language like i would talking to my best friend over coffee.}