ya'all, i am at this weird place in my life now.  i have teenagers.  i know, you're all like "wow, no way, you look too young" and i'm all "i know, right".


i have teenagers.  and you know what that means, boyfriends and girlfriends added into the mix.  years ago, i would have scoffed at that thought.  many times i've said "i don't know how any girl could ever be good enough for my Joey".

and just then, this cute little sweet-as-pie brown haired, gorgeous eyed girl walked in our lives.  she was quiet and sweet.  i knew her family, which is a plus.  and i knew they were Christians, double plus.  and i could see my boy was quite smitten by her.  neither was old enough to "date" so their relationship was limited to texting and school.  with the occasional "tag along" with the family.

during this time, said girl became besties with my daughter.  which absolutely warms my heart ya'all.  when i see a teenage girl take the time to actually get to know her boyfriends sister on a personal level, that's super special.

after a while, things didn't work out and they went their separate ways.  i was a little sad, because i actually liked this girl.  some all of the other girls, not so much.

fast forward a few months...pretty girl walks back into our lives.  {insert applause}  this time the relationship was a little more involved.  neither one was old enough to "date" yet, so evenings were spent at each others houses (always supervised ya'all, geesh), tagging along on shopping trips, dinners, basketball games, etc.  it was a solid year of our families getting intertwined and just loving each other.  honest to goodness, i adore this sweet girl and her entire family.  she feels like one of my own.  she fits perfectly with our wacky-crazy-traveling circus of a fam.

but after a year, my boy felt he needed a break and time to figure his life out.  and her heart was broken.  but just to show ya'all what absolutely tenderhearted sweeties these kids are, here is a snippet of my conversation with each of them today about this situation.

him...I still want to be her best friend.

her...I respect every single decision that boy makes. Even if its not what I want. That's what he wants and what he needs. To me, that's all that really matters.

i know, right. they are both just the sweetest.

now me on the other hand, i've spent the last few days alternating between being a mess, loving their hearts and feeling like a bit of a freak.  i am sad, like super sad.  and yes, of course i've cried.  it boils down to i love this girl like my own, so it breaks my heart to know her heart is broken.  

so what is the point of this post?  endings are hard.  period.  whether it's a breakup when we are 15, a best friend walking out of our lives or even a divorce.  

a close relationship, regardless of the age, knits two people together. they spend time together sharing their thoughts, feelings and dreams. they simply do life beside each other. add in two people who are believers, who have prayed together and read their Bible together, and that can give it an even deeper dimension. there is always going to be pain associated with tearing away something that was so closely bonded.

what do you do with the pain? how do you process it? how in the world do you ever work through this? prayer, and lots of it. did you ever hear the quote "when life gets too hard to stand, kneel"? this has never rang so true as it does in this situation. when the hurt feels too heavy to bear. when the anger starts to sneak in. pray, pray, pray.

and take some time to be alone. let your heart heal. allow God to pick up your broken heart, place the pieces back together and nurse it back to health. give Him room to do the work He needs to do in your own life. and absolutely trust Him.

as you start to heal and move forward, remember who is always there in the midst of it all.  He see's your tears, He knows your heartache and He hears your cries.  He can see into the deepest depths of your heart and He knows exactly what it will take to heal your heart. nothing is impossible for God!  

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

out for now