a marriage with Godly submission should be a faithful, intimate and loving relationship. boy, doesn't that sound like a far cry from what the world tells us submission is?
so it turns out submission isn't a sign of weakness, like this silly girl thought all along, it's a sign of respect! and of course i want to honor and respect my husband, i love him.
what submission is not
submission is not abusive. God does not want women to be submissive to abusers. as wives, we have to be confident of our husbands goodwill. remember, the command to wives to submit to their husbands is followed by the command to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for her (Ephesians 5:25).
in cases of abuse, there is a mighty need for an intervention and Godly counsel. if you are in an abusive relationship, i would urge you to reach out to focus ministries
. it's a Biblical based non-profit organization that offers counseling by phone, email, or in person. they want you to know you aren't alone and you are oh so valuable to God!!!
submission also shouldn't be used for leverage. submission absolutely comes with no strings attached. it is a heart desire to please God and do what is best for your family. i mean really, what wife doesn't want to live in peace? don't we all desire that? there is such an inner peace that comes from living in harmony with our husbands while obeying God.
as women, we are quite good at knowing how to manipulate our husbands to get them to do what we want. oh come on girls, we all know we've done it at one time or another. that is definitly not subission. and it's something we should never, ever do.
Chuck Swindoll said this about submission:
Webster says that manipulation means “to control or play upon by unfair or insidious means, especially to one’s own advantage or to serve one’s own purpose.” In other words, secret manipulation is an unfair, insidious technique that results in getting what one wants. When handled cleverly, a wife can substitute secret manipulation for a quiet, submissive spirit.
why is submission so hard?
and why is this so hard for me? it's from a lack of surrender. because i am, by nature, a controller. that controlling nature is nothing more than pride and sin bubbling to the surface. and the thoughts of not having control over a situation scares-me-to-death. but i believe God’s advice and His will to be the best for my life. even if I don’t fully understand it, i trust Him. with that being said, i somehow had to figure it out because i don't want to live my life is disobedience. so i asked God to teach me what it means.
often we wives are afraid of losing control (and by "we wives" i really mean this wife right here) and WE get in the way of creating the marriages we ache for. you know, the one where we have a strong, confident, Godly man, who loves us like Christ loves the church. i know this girl certainly wants that type of marriage.
so this week, be an asset to your husband and try your best to learn what submission looks like in a Godly marriage. don't forget to stop back next friday as we take a look at the beauty of submission. remember, keep your eyes on Him!
out for now