10 Ways To Encourage Your Teenage Daughter


We are raising daughters in such a difficult generation. A generation that is all about ME. A generation where the world and the media scream to them the most important things are power and beauty. As a mother of a teenage girl, I sadly see how young girls long to be popular. In the process, they claw their way to the top. And those they tramp on? Mere causalities. They lose focus of who they were created to be. Like you, I've been there myself.

They are inundated with messages through the internet, television, and magazines that remind them of how they don’t measure up to perfection.  All you have to do is look around a bit while you are in line at Walmart. Nearly every magazine will have a big breasted, half naked woman. What message does that send them? It says to be beautiful, to be attractive, to be wanted and to be worthy you MUST look like that. And if you don't, well, you're outta luck.

Every year, girls are engaging in sexual activity at younger and younger ages.  In fact, 23% of all 14 year olds are already sexually active.  There seems to be this huge surge of girls aggressively pursuing boys sexually.  Yeah, that makes this mama gray.

How can we help the hearts of our precious girls?  There are some super important things we must tell them.

1. Purity is cool. (although the world would never tell you that) Just look around, we are constantly bombarded by sex. When you fall in love, it's natural to want to express your love in physical ways. But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it's a tough balance, but showing love for another and remaining pure is possible. Respect yourself, respect your partner but most importantly respect God. And remember, you're a lady! Make him treat you as one!

2. Your Worth Isn't Based on Your Appearance. You are beautiful. Period. Not because of your lip-gloss shade or your new designer jeans. Not because you have on a sassy outfit and super cute new boots. Your worth is never found in your appearance, ever. You are beautiful simply because you were created in the image of God. You are a daughter of the King!

3.  It is absolutely okay to disagree with me.  It's okay to disagree with others.  You are old enough to have a point of view, and I always want to hear it.  The only thing I ask is always voice your opinion respectfully.  As long as you do that, I will always always be willing to hear your side! 

4.  Modesty.  God gave us, as women, the gift of softness, femininity and beauty. It's our responsibility to convey those without showing our sexuality. Allow your appearance to reflect your pure and virtuous heart. Know your worth and reflect it on the outside. Your body is a gift from God, honor it as such. I love this quote by Jessica Rey "Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves, it’s about revealing our dignity". We can absolutely dress beautifully without being out of fashion or immodest. The search might be a little harder but it's not impossible. You will probably have to look past the racks they place at the front of the store but I promise it's not an impossible task.

5.  You are not alone.  Ever. This could be one of the most heartbreaking realities I see among girls – they feel so desperately alone. I can absolutely remember being a teen girl, in a room full of people, yet feeling completely alone. It's so easy as a young girl to just focus on that loneliness. But remember, you are never alone. God is always with you and I am forever here for you. Give your loneliness to Christ and open your heart for Jesus to show you companionship as He never has before. Embrace that.

6.  Have a servants heart.  It is so so important to love with a servants heart, to have empathy for those who are lost and hurting. After all, Jesus did say the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbors. Reaching out to others, being the hands and feet of Jesus, is one of the greatest callings we have in our faith. Not only does it show the love of Christ for the world, it's also an opportunity for us to worship God and for us to grow more like Jesus. In today's world, there is such a focus on self and it is a daily struggle to instead turn our hearts away from self. Take time. Be humble. Keep on. Love.

7. You were uniquely designed you to be YOU. You are His perfectly perfect creation, handcrafted by the same hands that made the stars. Jesus skillfully crafted the body, mind and soul of each and every human being while she was in her mother's womb. So the next time your self-esteem is lacking or you feel not as pretty, thin, popular, etc. as the next person, just smile and thank the God who made you, died for you, and wants the best for you.

8. Honor your parents.  I know, I know.  I say this and all you hear is the peanuts teacher in your head. Blah blah blah. But this is a big one girlies! God gave one commandment to children, obey your parents. This is more than just obeying them, it's treating them like important people. It's treating them with love and respect. Sometimes we are asked to do hard things that we don't understand, don't want to do, don't feel like doing or that anger us. But remember, when we obey God we always know that he will bless us and make us happy.

9. You will never be perfect.  God does not demand our perfection to get His love.  Wow, isn't that a relief?  God knows there is no possible way any of us could ever be perfect.  Ever.  But if you've put your faith in Jesus and received Him into your life then you've been declared righteous.  Let's say that again, if you've received Jesus into your life you've been declared righteous!  You are covered under His grace, declared righteous and are precious in His eyes and you are held in the hand of His care. You are HIS and he loves you unconditionally.

10.  Guard your heart. You are to keep your heart safe and guard it from attack. Just a quick little side note...because everyone else is doing it is not a good excuse. There is a real war going on right now over your soul. Every single day satan prowls around and looks for an opportunity to pounce on your heart. You must be a warrior princess, put on the armor of God and guard your heart against attack. You need to be on guard about the occult, sexual sin, vanity, envy, greed, sassyness, gossip, lying, anger and pride.

I'm raising a daughter in this crazy world. I won't always be there to protect her (oh how I wish I could) so I will tell her the truth. I can't change the world, but I can prepare her for it.

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