Biblical Besties {Building}


Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever. 
1 Samuel 20:42

How beautiful is that? I mean, that's hallmark movie stuff right there. We have sworn friendship to each other in the name of the Lord. Doesn't that just make you smile? Yeah, me too. How many of us crave a friendship like that? Those true, genuine friendships are one of life's real blessings.

We all have that a desire in our hearts, the longing to be "best friends". The melody takes us back to our best friends, the boys and girls we hung out with when we were little - innocent times, free times, fun times. These were when we shared our secrets and our dreams with our bestie.  For me it included sitting under the grapevine, whispering secrets, playing house {and army}, riding bikes and enjoying each others company. That is something we were born with, the desire for fellowship with others. As adults, we are always looking for good friendships. God wired us with a natural desire for friends.
  
Friendships don't "just happen". They have to be built on a solid foundation. With friendships, as with buildings, if they aren't built on a solid foundation they will eventually fall and crumble. I don't think any of us want to put time, effort and heart into a friendship just to have it eventually fall apart. Here are a few tips on building your friendship on solid, lasting foundation.

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
John 15:14

Have a friendship with Jesus first.  We are best prepared for true, healthy friendships when we place our relationship with Jesus at the center of our life then revolve all our other relationships around that.  Our relationship with Jesus has to be our top priority.  If it's not, then it's time to do some serious heart work.

Find godly girlfriends.  We want a bestie that is running right beside us when we run to Jesus. If they aren't, then we have to let them go. Why is this so important? When we call our bestie crying, asking for advice, we certainly want to hear Biblical advice. We want to hear hope. We want to be told, gently in love, of our wrongdoings. We want to have fellowship. We want to have fun. And hello, we want to see them again. Why should death end a friendship. So keep your eyes open and watch for people God directly places in your life.  And definitely pray for guidance about which ones may become good friends.

Figure out what kind of friend you are.  We need to get to know our God-given personalities, and pray for the wisdom we need to use our personal strengths to strengthen your friendships and work on your weaknesses so they don’t hinder your friendships.  I have a strong personality with a good bit of honesty sprinkled in, I'm 100% devoted, true and I love to laugh.  That is basically the kind of friend I am.  So for me, I have to find friends that are able to deal with that and balance me.  Reflect on what types of qualities you’re looking for in friends. Then consider what type of friendships you’d most enjoy.

Make time for friendships. Our lives are busy in this fast-paced world. But if we want long-lasting friendships, we have to invest time in them. One possible solution, try taking care of your daily responsibilities together rather than trying to carve out time just for fun. If you have to can spaghetti sauce tomorrow morning; invite your girlfriend over, give her a cup of coffee and just chat with her while you do your work. Have dishes to do? Call your friend and chat while you do your dishes. Go for a morning walk together.

Recognize toxic friendships and end them.  This is a hard one, isn't it?  We can get so caught up in a friendship that we don't realize how toxic it is.  While healthy friendships are blessings, unhealthy friendships can cause toxic, destructive messes in your life.  I like to call these drama tornadoes.  Drama queens, cynics, manipulators and gossips are just some of the emotionally unhealthy people whose behaviors are toxic to you. If any of your friends exhibits unhealthy behaviors, pray about your friendship with her. Once you've determined that a particular friendship is toxic, either break off contact immediately or slowly withdraw from the relationship (however God leads you), forgive your former friend for her mistakes, and spend the time you’d previously put into that friendship in prayer with God instead.

Thank you so much for joining me this week!  Join me next Friday as we have the second part in this series.  I'm so super excited to work through this study with y'all!!!