As I sat at my desk, the wind outside is whipping. First one way and then another. I look out my window and see the leaves flying through the air. They can’t seem to find a solid place to land. One moment our lawn is filled with leaves and when I look again, they are gone.
That is what this season in my life has felt like.
For months I've been craving a solid place to land but it felt as if everything was blowing and changing around me, preventing me from landing.
One day the sailing on the wind was too much and I knew it had to end. For months on end I had craved change, prayed about it, blogged about it and then tried to change it. Trying, time and time again, to put my feet down and land. Not realizing the power wasn't in me to change it, but in Him.
This was, until the day I decided to have coffee with Jesus. Later that morning I was heading to have testing done. Testing that mattered. Mentally the "what if's" were driving me crazy. Over coffee that morning, I gave it all to Him. Not just the testing, but everything. He knew my feet were ready to be firmly planted on the ground. That morning, over coffee, He planted the seed of resolve in my heart.
I've realized this season in my life was necessary. The whole only comes after broken. Healing only comes after wounds.
I am embracing the change. That in itself is a ridiculous statement. I'm Amy, the girl that gets all twitchy, cranky and nervous at the thought of giving up the known for the unknown. Which confirms again, it's not me but all Him. For the first time in months, I feel grounded and centered. I know in my heart that I am exactly where He wants me to be. And that, my friends, is an amazing feeling. A feeling that is so welcomed!
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
2 Corinthians 4:7
For some reason, I've always been drawn to this verse. I always thought the jars of clay reference was beautiful, but I didn't understand it. In my mind, keeping treasure in a jar of clay was an odd place. Clay pots are fragile and easily broken. When I looked at the clay pots I have (crocks) they are full of flaws, chips and cracks.
That's when I got it.
We are simply empty jars of clay, fragile and full of flaws. Until we have God. Then kept inside that broken, fragile, ordinary jar of clay is a treasure, a priceless treasure of immeasurable worth!
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
As we travel through this messy, unsettled, always changing journey of life, God gives us the choice to become clay in His hands. I am so thankful that He loves us so much that He gently molds us and makes us into a vessel of honor. We can come to Him with our cracks and brokenness and He will meet us right where we are and love us. He will transform something beautiful out of our life. He doesn't wait for us to "clean up our act". Thank goodness because this girl is a slow learner! He can see into the deepest depths of our hearts and He knows exactly what it will take to restore Hope into it. He showers us with his amazing grace. With God we are never too spoiled, too cracked or too broken. With him there is always hope. With him there is always a another chance.