"Actually", she said with confidence, "I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day". I've heard my daughter say this dozens of times. And while it's been met with positivity, that doesn't happen often. Normally, she'll be met with laughter accompanied by a statement like "What? That's crazy!", "You'll change your mind once you start dating" and she's even heard "You'll never get a man that way".
I'm just going to be honest here, I didn't save my first kiss for my wedding day. As I've said before, I wish I had heard that not kissing until marriage was an option. I wish I had heard that purity was beautiful. Valuable. Precious. An amazing gift given to us by God to give to our spouse. I wish purity had been a bigger topic among my circle. I wish I had been told that God's grace is bigger than the choices we make. I wish we had been talked to instead of talked at.
I took the things I wished were different and the lessons I had learned and coupled that with God's Word. There was also an amazing all-girl program at church called Daughters of the King, led by our Pastor's wife. And during that time, God set it in my daughters heart to save her first kiss for her future husband on the day of their wedding.
In a day and age where kissing is the norm for elementary schoolers and losing your virginity in, or by high school is expected, it seems absurd and ridiculous that anyone would possibly save their first kiss for marriage. If you choose safe standards, you are bound to hear backlash and criticism from friends and relatives, but you have to remember that your decision is a “good thing".
We want our kids to enjoy healthy relationships placed in the hands of God. Relationships that focus on drawing closer together emotionally and spiritually before they enjoy the physical part of their relationship that is reserved only for marriage.
While saving your first kiss for your wedding day is clearly not popular, please don't look down on those who do. They aren't weak, naive or inexperienced. Are we really going to fault these kids for following what God has set in their heart?
And those of you who save your kiss, please don’t look down on those who don’t. Saving your kiss doesn’t gain you salvation.
I love the story told by
Jennie Bishop titled The Princess and the Kiss. The royal parents have a baby girl and give her the gift of her very first kiss. They explain to the princess that it is her gift to keep or give away as she chooses.They then go on to warn her that many man will try to take her gift, but she should be wise and save it for the man she would marry.
Instead of viewing your kiss as something meaningless and cheap, I want to challenge you to view it as a very expensive treasure box. It’s your job to keep your treasure safe until the person with the right key comes to unlock it.
Like the princess above, you will probably have some guys stop by with hopes to get a piece of your treasure. If they don’t have the key (the wedding band) don’t let them open the box.
I want you to remember, you don’t have to kiss frogs to find princes. Princes don’t need physical confirmation of a woman’s value. They already value you for who you are.
We need to recognize the kiss as an incredible gift that God has given each one of us to fully embrace and enjoy in the right context. Instead of lowering its value and blowing it off as just-a-kiss let’s view it as a precious, sacred gift.
Labels: kids, marriage, parenting
