Early Sunday morning is my absolute favorite computer time. I grab my coffee, head to my computer desk and just soak in the silence. This morning as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. A comment on a mutual friends status from someone I used to hold very near my heart. We were so close y'all, I even cut the cord when she had her daughter. And then one day she was gone, without a word. I spent the next few minutes in reflection and thinking about friendship.
Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.
1 Samuel 20:42
How beautiful is that? I mean, that's hallmark movie stuff right there. We have sworn friendship to each other in the name of the Lord. Doesn't that just make you smile? Yeah, me too. How many of us crave a friendship like that? Those true, genuine friendships are one of life's real blessings.
I thought true friendships were supposed to last forever? Surely I'm not the only woman that makes that assumption when entering a friendship.
So when a friendship ends virtually without notice, I'm left standing, mouth agape, wondering where it went wrong...where I went wrong...what did I do wrong?
How is it possible that in the blink of an eye, someone can turn around and walk away without even looking back?
No breakup hurts quite as badly as a breakup with your best friend. It's a feeling I never knew existed until it happened. It's a punched-in-the-gut, breathtaking feeling in a horrible way.
It's not my story to tell, so I can't even share any incite on how to keep a friendship from ending. But I can tell you that breakups hurt, whether you were in love with someone or just loved by them.
And tell me sweet girls, aren't we all afraid to talk of the breakup to others? Don't we fear being labeled as a gossip? Or that others will think we are wacky, needy, clingy and overly invested? I didn't want to be judged for being brokenhearted over an ended friendship.
I simply needed to know how to heal from a breakup that no one else would label a breakup.
The most frustrating, and absolutely sad part was is in my heart I honestly felt as if I was a good friend. I put so much effort into that friendship. I was devoted. I was faithful. I did all the right things in hopes of finding a heart-friend.
The only place I knew to run to without being judged for my feelings, and my heartbreak, was to God. I ran to Him quickly, and daily. And in that gap between my heartbreak and His healing, I chose to trust His timing.
And I will tell you this, years later, I realize wholehearted it was what was best for me. While I hate that the friendship ended, I don’t regret what came of it. What it revealed in me when that friendship was stripped away was not healthy and Jesus needed a wide path in to heal some things in me. To make beauty from those ashes.
But girls, listen to me closely, don't be afraid to share! You have no idea how many of us have been heartbroken by a breakup with a friend. And when you speak of it, with an honest heart, you will see other teary-eyed women nodding their heads and agreeing. So many of us have walked through friendships that have ended. You aren't alone.
And while I can't fix it for you, and I can't take away your heartache, I can tell you this.
Don't be afraid to call it a breakup.
Don't be afraid to talk about it.
Run directly to Him. He wants to hold your broken heart in His hands and with His loving grace, piece it back together.
And somehow He will make beauty from your ashes.