Dear Fat People

I swore to myself I wouldn't watch the Nicole Arbour video.  I knew it would just infuriate me.  But after thinking on it for a few days, I decided to watch it so I could at least weigh in {no pun intended} with my opinion.  Just a warning...if you start reading this and go search for the video to watch it...the language she uses is less than stellar.

What I wasn't prepared for was how emotionally exhausting and triggering this video would be.

If you have followed my blog for any amount of time, you know my journey.  It has been a long, scary, life-threatening, exhausting, grueling journey.  And yes, to be blunt, it has left me fat.

In her video, Nicole spends roughly 6 minutes shaming people for being overweight.  It was intended as satire and controversial humor.  I love humor, I honestly do.  I love to laugh and I love sarcasm.  I didn't get any of that from the video.

It's about to get real up in here y'all.

I have lived life in a size 12 body and a size 24 body, and every size in between. I have been called fat, cow, heifer and lots of other names. I have been told I have such a pretty face, if I would just lose some weight. I have been told it's a shame I got sick, because I was just starting to look good.  Mean words that were said without a second thought, but they stay in my head for years. 

I have distanced myself from people because I was tired of being the fat friend.  And I was positive they didn't want to be seen in public with me.  I have read fat shaming posts and fat jokes on Facebook daily.  I have listened to someone talk about another person being fat and instantly thought they must feel that same way about me.  I have intentionally walked past a mirror and shielded my eyes so I didn't have to look at my body.  I have rolled my eyes and thrown compliments away because I knew they couldn't be true.  I have hidden my body from my husband.  I have starved myself.  I have hated myself.

I have carried oh-so-much shame around with me over those years. And it seemed no amount of self-help books, dieting or trying to sort it out in my head ever worked. I had an unhealthy and unfortunate amount of shame and self-loathing toward my body. I could not imagine why God would give other girls perfect bodies then give me this one.

Learning to love myself regardless of my size was one of the hardest and most crucial things I've done. I have been stuck in the not enoughs my entire life. And people exactly like the girl that made this video were certainly contributing factors to that.

If you have never been overweight, you don't know.  If you have not sat in a doctors office and listened to their diagnosis, you don't know.  If you have never been fat shamed (which, by the way, IS a real thing), you don't know.  If you have never had that daily battle in your own mind, you don't know.  If you have never been made fun of, you don't know.

We are all women struggling with some type of body image in this media-forced mean girl world.  And it's time we start building each other up rather than tearing each other down for our differences.  All bodies are good bodies. All bodies are real bodies. All bodies are worthy of love and respect.

Honestly y'all, just love on others.  Remember that every single person you run into is fighting some type of battle that you can't see.  We are told in Mark 12: 30-31  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”  

I was going to post her comments and my reply to them, but I'm not. I was going to post facts and statistics, but I'm not. Because I don't need to defend the body that God gave me and neither do you. In moments of weakness, moments of words spoken, moments of videos on YouTube...I refuse to give in to the lies. I will continue to tell myself I am loved, and so are you, just as we are, not as others think we should be.
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7