I'm not even sure I remember why the disagreement started, but I am confident he was in the wrong. I mean, it couldn't be my fault. Being submissive during an argument is not one of my best qualities. I don't back down as easily as some of my really-good-at-being-submissive friends. And believe me, I know it's something I need to work on and improve. For some strange reason, I seem to forget this when I'm in the moment. I'm busy being knee-deep in self-righteous bickering and convinced that I am one witty comment away from victory. You know that girl that always has to have the last word? Yep, sadly that's me.
A few sassy words were exchanged and he turned and went to bed.
I'm not going to lie, I spent the first few moments alone stewing. But then something happened, something that left me reeling. God said "give it to me".
Now if you know me, you know I am one grudge-holding, stubborn girl. So for me to give up an argument is crazy talk! Almost instantly, a song came to mind.
I know He's able
I know my Lord is able to carry me through
With that song ringing in my head, the remaining bit of my evening with filled with singing and praying. The next morning as I woke before him, that feeling was still there.
I stepped on my pride momentarily and offered the kind of olive branch that was (sadly) uncharacteristic of me when I am mad. I chose respect, humbleness and kindness rather than anger, bitterness and harsh words.
The closer it got to him waking up, the more nervous I became. I didn't want to fight. I didn't want what had happened the night before to repeat itself again. I walked upstairs to wake him for church and, in my kindest humble voice said Good morning babe, I hope you slept well.
That simple sentence changed the atmosphere and set the tone for our day. I could see his face soften. I could watch the outcome be rewritten before me.
I chose respect.
I chose to give respect a chance because I am a Christian and try (emphasis on try) to follow the Bible's teachings on how to live. An attitude of disrespect cuts into a man’s heart like a knife and twists the blade far beyond the moments of meanness from his wife.
I am learning to hate the way it feels to tear down my husband’s spirit, though I still catch myself in acts of disrespect at times. As I grow in my love for my husband, and God continues to humble me more and more each day, I am able to see the destruction more clearly and run from it.
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.